THE COST OF OUR EXPERIENCE THAT LOVE CAN AFFORD…
ONE MAN SAID HE
PREFERRED A LOVER WHO HAD ALREADY A GREAT DEAL OF EXPERIENCE WITH LOVE, WHO HAD
ALREADY OPENED MOST OF ITS DOORS AND CLOSED THEM SAFELY BEHIND. ANOTHER MAN SAID THAT HE MUCH PREFERRED A
LOVER WHO WAS TOTALLY INNOCENT SO THAT THEY WOULD BE SPARED THE HIGH COST OF
WHAT EXPERIENCE COULD AFFORD…
The first man was quite
worldly, he had had many lovers and gleaned a mature and well-rounded
perspective on human nature… The second man was also a worldly man, but unlike
the first he had processed the pain of his experience as a negative… unlike the
first man he had not interpreted life’s disappointments as stumbling blocks and
used them as stepping stones. He
convinced himself that there was this sublime innocence which really did not
exist in any man because no man is a virgin to the world in which he lives… The
first man took each stone as it crossed his path preferring those which were
smoothed round for wear, hoping that like him, they would easily roll along the
path of life. But the second man
preferred the roughhewn splinters of stone for he imagined they would not so
easily roll into every direction, directions he had once explored but begrudged
of his lover now. He wanted to be the
one with all the know-how keeping his lover in a safe, tightly sealed cocoon of
false innocence…
The first man met someone
who nearly fit his desires, they were knowledgeable of the world, of loves
pains and pleasures, they seemed to be confident in their understanding of the
human condition and it appeared they had not become embittered in their search
for meaningfulness in this life. Theirs
was a journey of mutual affirmation. Both
were eager to see what truths they shared, to determine who had lived with the
most intensity thereby determining the absolute gravity of seniority. There was a competitive tension between them
as if they were two explorers seeking the same destination, vying for the
trophy of first discovery.
The second man also became
intimately acquainted with someone who closely fit his dreams, they had not the
extensive experience in love and had scarcely has anything that could be
considered a relationship save for friendships of the most platonic kind. Like everyone, they had known the yearning
and loneliness of life in the absence of any true experience with love. Because they had not ever been hurt by love no
bitterness had been extracted from it. They
had never ventured close enough, never delved deep enough into its essence to
have any opinion about love one way or the other and in their innocence or
ignorance as it were they were all the more willing to be led down loves one
way path as a tourist is led through a treacherous mountain by a trusted guide.
The first couple navigated
through the many tests they had each created to sift through the many lovers of
past and relationships now worn as suits of trusted armor against the assault
of spurious love. For them it would come
down to knowing when to end their joust combining forces to seize the prize of
each one for the other… and then go together to share the great feast that is
life. For them the test would be to
discover if they had truly satisfied their passions and if not if they could explore
the balance of their passions together…
The second couple walked
out onto the tightrope of life with a deliberate imbalance… could one man
suffice to satisfy what surely must be the inevitable human curiosities of love
in one so innocent, so ignorant of pleasure and pain. Could his ideal lovers innocence remain fortified
outside of the presence of his more mature lover, could he resist the flirtations
of forbidden pleasure and if he even once failed would his lover forsake him for
another whom he deemed to possess a more desirable innocence? Would innocence
one day begrudge experience? Would the
second man gradually build his love-ignorant lover up to his level or seek to
perpetuate his innocence? For the second
couple the test of faith would require constant calibration of the unbalanced
forces holding them in sublime equilibrium…
Truth is, there are an
infinite number of possibilities for both couples and no rule or theorem is
valid as a means to predict any outcome when it comes to love. Outside of our comprehension of the universal
mysteries of the human condition love is at best a titillating guessing game… the key is not to let love sour into
bitterness… we are not entitled to receive the love we desire but we are
blessed whenever we are allowed to experience it for however long it might last…
Just because we are loved does not mean we have received love, we must know how
to recognize and honor love in order to be able to receive its gifts… It may be that because we have misunderstood
love, failed to recognize and honor love we may not receive it until many, many
years after it has gone… this is why
love is often preserved as a fond memory… we only truly see its beauty after we
have had time to muse upon it and experience its opposite… Love is brilliantly
contrasted in its absence but only if we can perceive its colours…
Written By: David
Vollin
Administrator: For The
Brothas Intellectual Salon
A GALLERY OF IMAGES
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