THE COST OF OUR EXPERIENCE THAT LOVE CAN AFFORD…

THE COST OF OUR EXPERIENCE THAT LOVE CAN AFFORD…

ONE MAN SAID HE PREFERRED A LOVER WHO HAD ALREADY A GREAT DEAL OF EXPERIENCE WITH LOVE, WHO HAD ALREADY OPENED MOST OF ITS DOORS AND CLOSED THEM SAFELY BEHIND.  ANOTHER MAN SAID THAT HE MUCH PREFERRED A LOVER WHO WAS TOTALLY INNOCENT SO THAT THEY WOULD BE SPARED THE HIGH COST OF WHAT EXPERIENCE COULD AFFORD…

The first man was quite worldly, he had had many lovers and gleaned a mature and well-rounded perspective on human nature… The second man was also a worldly man, but unlike the first he had processed the pain of his experience as a negative… unlike the first man he had not interpreted life’s disappointments as stumbling blocks and used them as stepping stones.  He convinced himself that there was this sublime innocence which really did not exist in any man because no man is a virgin to the world in which he lives… The first man took each stone as it crossed his path preferring those which were smoothed round for wear, hoping that like him, they would easily roll along the path of life.  But the second man preferred the roughhewn splinters of stone for he imagined they would not so easily roll into every direction, directions he had once explored but begrudged of his lover now.  He wanted to be the one with all the know-how keeping his lover in a safe, tightly sealed cocoon of false innocence…

The first man met someone who nearly fit his desires, they were knowledgeable of the world, of loves pains and pleasures, they seemed to be confident in their understanding of the human condition and it appeared they had not become embittered in their search for meaningfulness in this life.  Theirs was a journey of mutual affirmation.  Both were eager to see what truths they shared, to determine who had lived with the most intensity thereby determining the absolute gravity of seniority.  There was a competitive tension between them as if they were two explorers seeking the same destination, vying for the trophy of first discovery.

The second man also became intimately acquainted with someone who closely fit his dreams, they had not the extensive experience in love and had scarcely has anything that could be considered a relationship save for friendships of the most platonic kind.  Like everyone, they had known the yearning and loneliness of life in the absence of any true experience with love.  Because they had not ever been hurt by love no bitterness had been extracted from it.  They had never ventured close enough, never delved deep enough into its essence to have any opinion about love one way or the other and in their innocence or ignorance as it were they were all the more willing to be led down loves one way path as a tourist is led through a treacherous mountain by a trusted guide.

The first couple navigated through the many tests they had each created to sift through the many lovers of past and relationships now worn as suits of trusted armor against the assault of spurious love.  For them it would come down to knowing when to end their joust combining forces to seize the prize of each one for the other… and then go together to share the great feast that is life.  For them the test would be to discover if they had truly satisfied their passions and if not if they could explore the balance of their passions together…

The second couple walked out onto the tightrope of life with a deliberate imbalance… could one man suffice to satisfy what surely must be the inevitable human curiosities of love in one so innocent, so ignorant of pleasure and pain.  Could his ideal lovers innocence remain fortified outside of the presence of his more mature lover, could he resist the flirtations of forbidden pleasure and if he even once failed would his lover forsake him for another whom he deemed to possess a more desirable innocence? Would innocence one day begrudge experience?  Would the second man gradually build his love-ignorant lover up to his level or seek to perpetuate his innocence?  For the second couple the test of faith would require constant calibration of the unbalanced forces holding them in sublime equilibrium…

Truth is, there are an infinite number of possibilities for both couples and no rule or theorem is valid as a means to predict any outcome when it comes to love.  Outside of our comprehension of the universal mysteries of the human condition love is at best a titillating guessing game…  the key is not to let love sour into bitterness… we are not entitled to receive the love we desire but we are blessed whenever we are allowed to experience it for however long it might last… Just because we are loved does not mean we have received love, we must know how to recognize and honor love in order to be able to receive its gifts…  It may be that because we have misunderstood love, failed to recognize and honor love we may not receive it until many, many years after it has gone…  this is why love is often preserved as a fond memory… we only truly see its beauty after we have had time to muse upon it and experience its opposite… Love is brilliantly contrasted in its absence but only if we can perceive its colours…

Written By: David Vollin

Administrator: For The Brothas Intellectual Salon

A GALLERY OF IMAGES